Ever found yourself lying in bed after a long day, running through everything you should have done differently? Maybe you worked late and missed bedtime. Maybe you snapped at your toddler after a stressful day. or you gave your child a screen just so you could get five minutes of peace.
And now? The guilt is hitting hard.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Mum guilt is real, and it’s exhausting. But here’s the thing: You’re already doing an amazing job. Let’s talk about how to stop feeling like you’re constantly falling short and start embracing the reality that you are enough.
Oh, and if you prefer listening, check out our Spotify podcast episode: Dealing with Mum Guilt: How to Overcome It
Why Do Mums Feel Guilty All the Time?
The guilt creeps in for so many reasons:
- Work vs. Family – Whether you work full-time or stay at home, you’ll feel guilty about something. Not working? “I should be contributing financially.” Working? “I should be home more.” It’s a no-win situation.
- Social Media Pressure – Seeing “perfect” mums on Instagram, with their home-cooked organic meals and smiling kids, makes it easy to feel like you’re not doing enough.
- Unrealistic Expectations – We expect ourselves to be everything, a loving mum, a patient teacher, a fun playmate, a good partner, a successful professional… all at once.
- Comparison Trap – Your mum did things differently. Your best friend parents differently. Cue the guilt.
- Society’s Mixed Messages – “Put your kids first!” but also “Don’t lose yourself in motherhood!” No wonder we’re confused.
The truth? You don’t have to be perfect to be a great mum.
How Mum Guilt Messes with Your Mental Health
If mum guilt just made us care more, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. But when it’s constant, it takes a toll:
- You feel anxious and stressed – Always second-guessing yourself? That’s draining.
- You start to burn out – Running on empty means you can’t show up as your best self.
- You lose confidence – You start believing you’re not doing enough when, in reality, you are.
But guess what? You can break free from mum guilt.
How to Overcome Mum Guilt (For Real This Time)
1️⃣ Flip the Script
Instead of “I’m a bad mum for working late,” try “I’m showing my child what hard work looks like.” Instead of “I gave them too much screen time,” say “They had fun, and I got a breather.” Your words matter, especially the ones you tell yourself.
2️⃣ Ditch the Perfect Mum Myth
Perfect mums don’t exist. Even the ones who seem like they have it all together? They have their tough days too.
3️⃣ Prioritise YOU
You can’t pour from an empty cup. A burnt-out mum isn’t a better mum. Take time for yourself, whether it’s a solo coffee run, a walk, or just 10 minutes of deep breathing.
4️⃣ Surround Yourself with Real Mums
Not the Instagram-perfect kind, the real ones who admit their struggles.
5️⃣ Accept That You’re Enough
Your child doesn’t need a perfect mum. They just need you.
Final Thoughts
Mum guilt will pop up now and then it’s part of the journey. But it doesn’t have to control you. The next time it creeps in, take a deep breath and remind yourself:
You are doing your best, and your best is enough.
If this resonated with you, let’s keep the conversation going. Drop a comment below, and don’t forget to listen to our Spotify podcast for more real talk on motherhood. 💛
“Don’t go through mumming alone.”
FK Jesuyode
Founder, 5StarMums
