Hey mama, how are you really?
We ask each other this all the time, but for mums, especially new mums, the honest answer often goes unsaid. Because when people see you with your baby, they see the joy, the miracle, the new life. They don’t always see the tears you cried in the shower, the anxiety when everyone leaves, and it’s just you and the baby, the overwhelming pressure to be perfect, present, and grateful, all while running on 2 hours of sleep. And when that pressure builds up, it can quietly turn into something heavier, like postpartum depression, anxiety, or burnout.
That’s why I believe deeply in the power of mental health check-ins for mums. Not once in a while. Not when things fall apart. But regularly, like a vital sign.
What’s a Mental Health Check-in?
It’s not complicated, it’s not about fancy journals or expensive apps (unless those help you). A mental health check-in is simply a pause, a moment of honesty. It’s asking yourself:
- How am I feeling for real?
- What do I need today, emotionally, mentally, spiritually?
- Who can I talk to about this?
Sometimes, it’s giving yourself permission to say:
“Today is hard. And that’s okay.”
It might be five minutes while the baby naps, a quiet moment during a stroller walk, or a late-night cry while texting a friend: “I just need to vent.”
Why These Check-ins Matter So Much
Here’s what we know: 1 in 7 women experience postpartum depression, and even more battle anxiety, irritability, intrusive thoughts, and deep exhaustion, all in silence. Mums often feel they have to be strong. That asking for help means they’re failing.
But guess what?
Checking in with your mental health doesn’t make you weak; it makes you strong, brave, and aware.
When you tune into your emotional well-being:
- You can recognise red flags before they escalate
- You build resilience by acknowledging your needs
- You model healthy emotional expression for your children
- You show yourself compassion, the same kind you give everyone else
Because when a mum is well, her whole world feels safer. Stronger. Softer.
Signs You Might Need a Deeper Check-in
If you’re feeling off lately but can’t quite put your finger on it, here are some things to look out for:
- You cry often and don’t know why
- You feel disconnected from your baby or loved ones
- You’re struggling to sleep, eat, or care for yourself
- You feel anxious, irritable, or panicked more than usual
- You feel numb, hopeless, or like you’ve lost yourself
These aren’t just “baby blues.” These are signs you deserve real support, not guilt or self-blame.
How to Actually Do a Mental Health Check-in
Let’s keep it simple. Here are a few ways you can check in with yourself as a mum:
🧠 Mind Check
Ask yourself:
- What’s been on my mind today?
- Am I overthinking, worrying, or spiralling?
❤️ Emotion Check
Ask:
- What emotion is loudest in me right now: joy, fear, sadness, anger?
- Is there a story behind it I need to unpack?
🤍 Body Check
Ask:
- Am I tired? Hungry? Restless? In pain?
- What physical need have I been ignoring?
🗣️ Connection Check
Ask:
- Do I feel supported?
- Who can I safely open up to?
Even just writing this down in a notebook or saying it aloud can help you feel seen by yourself, which is powerful.
This Is Bigger Than Just One Mum
Mental health support for mums isn’t a personal issue, it’s a global one. It affects families, workplaces, healthcare systems, and communities.
When we treat maternal mental health as essential, not optional, we:
- Prevent long-term trauma and depression
- Improve bonding between mother and baby
- Support healthier family dynamics
- Create stronger societies led by well-supported women
Whether you’re a policymaker, midwife, employer, or partner, your role in supporting mental wellness after childbirth matters more than ever.
Let’s Keep Talking: 🎧 Listen on Spotify
If this blog post speaks to you, or if you just need someone to say “I see you” I invite you to listen to my latest podcast episode. It’s called “The Importance of Mental Health Check-ins for Mums”, and it’s available now on Spotify. 👉 Click here to listen
You’re not alone, and you don’t have to do this alone.
Final Words, From One Mum to Another
Mama, if no one has checked in on you lately, let this be that moment.
- You matter.
- Your mental health matters.
- You’re allowed to struggle.
- You’re allowed to ask for help.
- You’re allowed to take up space.
Being a good mum isn’t about doing it all, it’s about staying well enough to keep showing up, one breath at a time.
So today, take a few minutes. Close your eyes. Put your hand on your heart. And ask:
“How am I, really?”
Then listen.
“Don’t go through mumming alone.”
FK Jesuyode
Founder, 5StarMums
