Becoming a new mum in today’s world is both a miracle and a maze. While you’re adjusting to sleepless nights, sore nipples, changing diapers, and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with caring for a brand-new human, the world outside your window never sleeps, especially social media.
For many Nigerian mums (and new mums globally), social media has become a constant companion in the postpartum period. It offers community, information, and connection. But it also brings with it a lot of pressure, noise, and unrealistic standards. As someone deeply invested in maternal mental health and postpartum advocacy, I believe we need to talk openly about this.
In this blog post, I’ll walk you through the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of navigating social media as a new mum, and how to protect your peace in a world that’s always online.
Prefer to listen? Check out the 5StarMums Podcast episode on Spotify titled “Navigating Social Media as a New Mum: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly” for a detailed, voice-led version of this conversation.
The Good: Community, Comfort & Connection
Let’s start with the bright side.
Social media can be a lifeline for new mums, especially when isolation hits hard. Whether you’re in Lagos, London, or Jos, platforms like Instagram, WhatsApp, Facebook groups, and TikTok can make you feel less alone in your motherhood journey.
Think about it:
- You find a reel that perfectly describes your midnight breastfeeding struggle, and suddenly, you laugh instead of cry.
- You join a WhatsApp group of Nigerian mums and ask, “Is anyone else struggling to make baby sleep during the day?” and within minutes, ten other mums say “Me too.”
- You come across a mumfluencer talking about postpartum body image and for the first time, you don’t feel weird for still wearing maternity leggings five months postpartum.
These moments matter, they create a virtual village, and in a society where many mums are expected to “bounce back” or “have it all together,” these digital communities offer emotional validation, empathy, and practical advice.
What to love about social media as a new mum:
- Access to educational resources (when verified)
- Finding mums going through similar stages
- Reassurance that your journey is normal
- Creative inspiration and even light-hearted humour
- 24/7 support that doesn’t require leaving your home
The Bad: Comparison, Pressure & Performance
Now let’s talk about the slippery slope.
As helpful as social media can be, it’s also a space full of comparison traps. You see a mum who seems to have it all together, flat tummy, glowing skin, a peaceful baby, and a spotless house, and you wonder, “What am I doing wrong?”
But here’s what most people won’t say:
Social media is a highlight reel, not a full documentary.
That photo of a well-dressed mum and her baby at church doesn’t show the 2-hour crying episode before they left the house. That curated nursery doesn’t show the pile of laundry cropped out of frame. That “snapback” belly might come with emotional distress or disordered eating.
Social media can push us to perform, even when we’re in pain.
It can make you feel like if you’re not posting, you’re not present.
And if you’re not smiling, you’re not thriving.
As a postpartum thought leader, I see this often: mothers burning out in silence while trying to keep up online. That’s the quiet danger, the emotional toll of trying to “look okay” when you’re still healing.
The hidden challenges of social media for new mums:
- Unspoken pressure to be “grateful” and never complain
- Competing narratives about what “good motherhood” looks like
- Confusion caused by too much advice (some of it harmful)
- Feelings of inadequacy when your reality doesn’t match the grid
The Ugly: Mum-shaming, Misinformation & Mental Health Triggers
This is the part that hurts the most.
Social media can be downright toxic for new mums. The algorithms don’t always favour safety or compassion, they often reward controversy, sensationalism, and aesthetics over honesty.
And what does that mean for you, mama?
It means:
- You ask a question about formula and get shamed by “breast is best” warriors.
- You post a selfie and get comments about how tired or “unkept” you look.
- You Google “postpartum weight loss” and suddenly your feed is filled with flat tummy teas and bounce-back workouts, when all you want is rest.
Worst of all, social media can trigger or worsen postpartum depression, anxiety, and feelings of isolation, especially when everyone else’s life seems more “together” than yours.
I’ve heard Nigerian mums say:
“I started feeling like I was failing because everyone else seemed happy.”
“I was scared to post anything because I didn’t want to be judged.”
“I just kept scrolling and felt worse, but I couldn’t stop.”
This isn’t your fault.
It’s the design of the platforms and it’s okay to opt out.
How to Reclaim Your Peace Online
You deserve to feel safe, seen, and supported, even online.
Here’s how to take back your power:
Practical steps for protecting your peace:
- Unfollow accounts that make you feel less-than.
- Mute “perfect” pages that stress you out.
- Follow real, honest mums who tell the truth.
- Limit your screen time, especially before bed.
- Trust your instincts, not every reel is reality.
And most importantly, remember this:
Motherhood is not a competition, it’s a calling, and you’re doing beautifully, even on the hard days.
You Deserve Your Own Mum Tribe
The early months of motherhood can feel isolating, especially when it’s your first time. You may feel like everyone else has it together while you’re just trying to survive. But remember, behind the Instagram smiles and matching baby outfits, many women are also craving real, honest connection.
You are not too much, you are not falling behind, and you are not invisible.
Your people are out there, and one day soon, you’ll meet a mum who looks at you and says, “Me too.”
That’s when the healing begins, and if you need to talk to us, we’re open here
Listen to the Podcast Episode
If this blog post touched something in you, I invite you to go even deeper with our podcast episode:
“Navigating Social Media as a New Mum: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly”
Available now on Spotify via the 5StarMums Podcast where we talk honestly, mother to mother.
Final Thoughts
Social media isn’t going anywhere and honestly, it can be a tool for good, but as new mums, we must learn to use it with boundaries, wisdom, and self-compassion.
So whether you’re sharing your joy or sitting quietly in the chaos, know this: You don’t owe the world your performance. You owe yourself your peace. And at 5StarMums, we’re here to remind you that you’re never alone in this.
“Don’t go through mumming alone.”
FK Jesuyode
Founder, 5StarMums
