There’s a moment after childbirth when the room gets quiet. The baby is finally asleep, your body is sore, and suddenly, the visitors stop coming. The phone doesn’t ring as often, and even though you’re constantly busy, you feel deeply alone.
It’s a kind of loneliness that sits in your chest and whispers, “Am I the only one going through this?”
If you’ve ever felt like that, you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. You’re simply in a season that many mothers silently experience: the need for true, honest connection.
This is where the idea of building your mum tribe comes in; not as a fancy catchphrase, but as a lifeline for your emotional and mental well-being.
In this blog post, we’ll talk about why making mum friends is essential, how to overcome the awkwardness of starting new friendships as a mother, and where to begin your search for the women who will become your safe space.
And if you want to get deeper into this conversation, we invite you to listen to our heart-to-heart episode on the 5StarMums Podcast on Spotify titled “Making Mum Friends: Building Your Mum Tribe.”
Why Mum Friendships Matter More Than Ever
When you become a mother, your world changes overnight. Your body, your mind, your time, everything is different. And while your baby becomes the center of your life, you still need support too.
You need someone who understands what it feels like to cry in the bathroom after a long night. Someone who gets the fear that comes with a baby’s fever. Someone who won’t judge you when you say, “I love my baby, but I miss who I used to be.”
Having other mothers in your corner does more than give you company, it protects your mental health, it reduces the risk of postpartum depression, it helps you feel seen, heard, and understood.
In cultures like ours in Nigeria, we’re taught to be strong, to carry on without asking for help but the truth is, motherhood is not meant to be done alone. You deserve sisterhood, softness, and connection even now.
Where to Find Mum Friends in Nigeria
You might be wondering, “Where do I even begin?”
You’re not in school anymore, you’re not going to parties, you barely even leave the house some days. But meaningful friendships can start in the most ordinary places. Here are a few places you can begin:
- Antenatal and Postnatal Clinics: Look around while waiting for appointments. Start with a smile or a compliment. “Your baby is so cute” can lead to real conversations.
- Church: Churches often have women’s or mothers’ groups. Ask around or volunteer, it’s a gentle way to meet like-minded women.
- WhatsApp and Facebook Groups: There are plenty of Nigerian mum communities online, for instance 5StarMums WhatsApp community. From breastfeeding to potty training to toddler tantrums, these groups are full of women looking for connection too.
- Playgrounds and Local Parks: A shared bench and a sleepy baby is sometimes all it takes to say, “Hi, are you here often?”
- Events and Support Circles: Whether it’s a baby fair or a local postpartum support group like 5StarMums, these spaces were created for you to connect.
Don’t underestimate the power of being the one to say hello first, sometimes, your future best friend is just waiting for someone to speak up.
Overcoming the Awkwardness of Making New Friends
Let’s be honest, starting new friendships as an adult can feel weird. Add the fog of postpartum hormones and the exhaustion of new motherhood, and it can feel nearly impossible.
You might worry that you’ll seem desperate, or that the other mum already has her own circle, or that you’re not doing “enough” to be likeable.
Pause and take a breath.
Friendship doesn’t need perfection, it needs honesty.
Start small. Ask how her baby is sleeping, talk about the last clinic visit, share a little about yourself, if it doesn’t flow, that’s okay. Not every conversation leads to a deep connection, but every genuine attempt helps you grow in courage.
Here’s the secret: other mums feel awkward too, most of them are also tired, unsure, and secretly hoping someone will reach out first, let it be you.
How to Nurture the Friendships You Make
Once you’ve made that connection, how do you keep it alive? In motherhood, time is short and energy is limited but even in the chaos, small acts of care can build deep bonds.
- Send a simple “How are you holding up?” message.
- Share something funny or relatable about your baby’s latest milestone.
- Voice-note instead of texting when your hands are full.
- Celebrate her little wins. “You survived sleep/potty training? You’re a champion!”
- If you can, meet up. It doesn’t have to be fancy; a walk, a shared meal, or just sitting together while your babies nap.
What matters is consistency and kindness.
Not every mum will become a lifelong friend, but one or two deep, dependable connections can completely change your experience of motherhood.
You Deserve Your Own Mum Tribe
The early months of motherhood can feel isolating, especially when it’s your first time. You may feel like everyone else has it together while you’re just trying to survive. But remember, behind the Instagram smiles and matching baby outfits, many women are also craving real, honest connection.
You are not too much, you are not falling behind, and you are not invisible.
Your people are out there, and one day soon, you’ll meet a mum who looks at you and says, “Me too.”
That’s when the healing begins, and if you need to talk to us, we’re open here
Listen to the Full Episode:
🎧 “Making Mum Friends: Building Your Mum Tribe” — Now Streaming on Spotify
In our latest episode of the 5StarMums Podcast, we share heartfelt stories, practical advice, and gentle encouragement to help you find and grow your own circle of mum friends. Whether you’re just starting out or you’ve been longing for deeper connection, this episode is for you.
Final Thoughts
Being a mum is sacred work, but even sacred things need support, you don’t have to walk this road alone. So reach out, smile, start the conversation.
Your mum tribe is not just a dream. It’s a possibility, and it starts with one brave hello.
“Don’t go through mumming alone.”
FK Jesuyode
Founder, 5StarMums
