There’s a certain hush in the air these days. The welcome visits, the scent of pepper soup and cake, and the soft glow of lights, it all tells us that the holidays are edging closer. And if you are a new mum, carrying your little one through these first festive weeks, you might find the season stirring something deeper than just excitement. Perhaps you feel a gentle weight you weren’t expecting; a hint of overwhelm, a quiet wish for rest, or simply the desire for the celebrations to slow down so you can catch your breath.
If that’s you, you are not alone. This season, more than ever, you deserve permission to move gently.
Why this time feels heavy when you’re a new mum
You recently gave life. You’re learning your baby’s rhythm, you’re healing, adjusting, perhaps still navigating the after-taste of pregnancy or recovery. At the same time, the world around you whispers loudly: The season of gifting, visiting, hosting, being all together. The two worlds can collide.
- Your body, your hormones, your energy have shifted.
- There are traditions you once held, maybe you hosted a big gathering, or travelled home, or stayed up wrapping parcels late into the night, and suddenly you’re wondering how you’ll manage even one of those this year.
- Then there’s the quiet yearning: you want joy, you want connection, you want to celebrate, and yet part of you longs for stillness, space, a slower pace.
Please hear me when I say: your feelings are valid. It isn’t a lack of gratitude or a shortcoming. You are navigating something new and beautiful, yes, but also raw and real. And the holidays don’t need to be perfect for them to matter.
Practical ways to protect your peace
Let’s walk through some gentle steps, not rigid rules, that can help you carry yourself and your baby more softly through this season.
1. Decide what you really want this year
Who are you at this moment? Not the “you” before baby, not the “you” who used to host every family event, but the “you” who now wakes in the night, whose heart beats at a new pace. Sit quietly and ask: What would feel meaningful this year? What would feel too heavy? Use that as your compass.
2. Simplify so you can savour
Festive dinners, decorations, gifts, travelling, these can all feel important. But what if you chose one or two instead of many? Maybe a pot of your favourite stew, a neighbour coming over for a brief visit, skipping the big house clean for now. In letting go of excess, you might find you gain something deeper: presence.
3. Set your boundaries, kindly and firmly
You might feel pressure from well-meaning family or from yourself. It’s okay to say, “This is what works for us this year.” You can say, “Thank you, we’d love a quick visit at 4pm, and then we’ll rest.” You can say, “We’re celebrating here, quietly we’d love for you to join, but you can also come another time.” Protecting your rest isn’t selfish. It’s wise.
4. Accept help and rest when you can
When someone says: “Tell me what I can do,” don’t default to “I’m okay.” Instead, say: “Could you hold the baby while I sleep a bit?” or “Could you bring the drinks on Friday?” These small gestures multiplied give you a margin. And margin matters. Your rest gives your baby and your whole household gift.
5. Honour your feelings, let go of the guilt
You might see others gliding through parties or photo sessions and wonder if you’re missing something. You might compare your fatigue, your quiet, your new routine with someone else’s highlight reel. Let me reassure you: you’re doing enough. More than that, you’re doing your best. If all you do this season is hold your baby and whisper a quiet prayer of gratitude, that is more than enough.
Looking ahead: making the season yours
My hope for you this holiday is simple: That you wake on a morning, feed your baby, feel the air, and remember, you are here. Not just surviving, but gently living. You are moulding memories right now, not with grand gestures but with soft presence.
The holiday may not unfold the way you once expected. It may look different, feel different. And that’s okay. Because you’re not the same, the baby isn’t the same, your rhythms aren’t the same. And perfection is not the aim. Peace is.
If you’d like to hear more, perhaps a conversation that walks you more deeply through these thoughts, with stories and calm reflection, I invite you to listen to the 5 Star Mums Podcast: “Managing Holiday Stress as a New Mum” on Spotify. It’s a space for you, one mother to another, remembering that you are not alone in this season.
Listen here on Spotify: 5 Star Mums Podcast: Teaching Your Baby Kindness and Empathy
“Don’t go through mumming alone.”
FK Jesuyode
Founder, 5StarMums
