If you’ve been whispering “best crèche near me” to Google at 2am with tears in your eyes and a baby snoring softly on your chest, come closer, this one’s for you.
Because choosing childcare shouldn’t feel like heartbreak. You deserve honest, practical guidance that sees your culture, honours your budget, and respects the values you hold dear.
Let’s figure it out together, one nap time at a time.
Why This Decision Feels So Heavy
This decision is heavy because your child is your heart walking around outside your body, no one soothes their cries quite like you, somewhere along the line, we were told that a “good mother” should be able to do it all alone but deep down, you know you need help, and needing help doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you human.
So, let’s walk through this decision together like real women navigating real life.
1. Know Your Needs First
Before you start looking for help, pause and ask yourself what you truly need.
- Do you need full-time care while you work away from home?
- Do you just need part-time help a few days a week?
- Are you hoping for someone to support you emotionally and physically while you recover?
Start from your reality, not from social media or what worked for your friend. Your home is different, your baby is different, and your threshold is different. The right childcare starts by being honest with yourself.
2. Think Safety and Emotional Connection
A clean environment is important, a nice facility is good but your child’s emotional safety matters just as much as physical safety.
Whether you’re hiring a nanny or registering at a crèche, observe how caregivers respond to children. Are they warm? Do they make eye contact? Do they seem overwhelmed or calm? Children cannot speak up for themselves yet, but they can feel when they are loved. That is what you are looking for.
3. Not All Help is Good Help
In Nigeria, there is a lot of pressure to accept help from family whether you like it or not. Your mother and mother-in-law might volunteer to take care of the baby but insists on outdated practices like giving newborns water or not swaddling. You may feel stuck because you don’t want to offend her, you’re not ungrateful for setting boundaries, you are being protective, and you are allowed to be.
If it doesn’t feel right for you or your child, you are allowed to say no even to family.
4. Questions to Ask When Interviewing a Nanny or Daycare
Don’t rely on gut feeling alone, ask direct questions.
- How do you handle a baby who won’t stop crying?
- What do you do if a child refuses to eat?
- Can I call or visit anytime I want?
- Have you ever been in an emergency situation with a child? What did you do?
Also, watch their body language while answering, you’re not just hiring a worker, you are inviting someone into your child’s life.
Be thorough, ask, observe, listen to your instinct.
5. Pay Attention to Red Flags
Some warning signs are easy to miss until it’s too late.
- A caregiver who’s always distracted
- A centre that discourages you from visiting unannounced
- A nanny who dismisses your instructions
- A child who suddenly becomes fearful or withdrawn
If something doesn’t feel right, don’t doubt yourself, you have every right to investigate and pull back if needed, you are not being dramatic, you are being a mother.
6. Don’t Let Guilt Make the Decision For You
You are not a bad mum for wanting time to breathe, you are not selfish for going back to work, you are not weak for admitting you need help.
Choosing childcare does not mean you are replacing yourself. It means you are building a small village around your child so that you can be more present, more rested, and more whole.
7. What If You Get It Wrong?
Then you try again, you reassess, you speak up, you change course, you are not stuck, you are allowed to outgrow a decision, you are allowed to say this isn’t working. That is part of good parenting too.
You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
This is one of the most emotional topics we’ve ever covered on the 5StarMums Podcast, and the response from first-time mums has been powerful. If you’re still feeling overwhelmed or need to hear other mums’ stories, listen to our podcast episode titled: “Choosing Childcare: What to Consider”
It’s available now on Spotify and wherever you listen to your podcasts.
We speak honestly about family pressure, emotional triggers, cultural expectations, and the silent tears so many mums cry when making this decision. You will not feel alone after listening.
Final Word
Choosing childcare is not about picking a perfect option, it’s about making the best decision possible with love, wisdom, and support.
You are not failing, you are learning, you are growing, and your baby is lucky to have you.
If you found this post helpful, please share it with another mum. You never know who is silently struggling with this same decision right now.
Your village starts with honest conversations like this.
“Don’t go through mumming alone.”
FK Jesuyode
Founder, 5StarMums
